We’re pretty sure Slate reached peak Slate with that horrible piece shaming anyone who was touched by that photo of former President George H.W. Bush’s service dog, Sully, keeping watch in front of Bush’s flag-draped casket.
The author noted that dogs have been known to eat their deceased owners, suggesting that were it an open casket, Sully might have been up there gnawing on the former president’s arm. Never mind that Sully was highly trained and deeply devoted to and loved by his master; that’s just human sentiment clouding your vision.
Honestly, we wouldn’t have been surprised if Slate had just shuttered after that hot mess, but no, the website is still up and running and tackling issues like Sen. Ted Cruz’s new beard.
Thoughts on the unwelcome semi-hotness of Ted Cruz’s new beard: https://t.co/0YQXUTB0ci
— Slate (@Slate) December 7, 2018
Please … we must know these thoughts. Tell us, Christina Cauterucci:
I have no particular fondness for this subject and it brings me no pleasure to cover it. But as a truth-seeking journalist, I feel I must write what follows: Sen. Ted Cruz’s new beard looks great.
The Texas Republican first appeared in public with traces of facial hair just after Thanksgiving. Back then, the beard was just a shadowy, patchy mess that crept down his throat while wholly avoiding his chin. It looked a bit more professional in better lighting, but it reeked of desperation, too feeble and thin to do anything but serve as a physical manifestation of Cruz’s personality.
That all changed this week, when Cruz showed up in the Senate with a filled-out salt-and-pepper beard, giving his face a defined jawline and its first-ever hints of ruggedness and affability. The bloated, downy visage of a college debate team showoff is gone. A marginally less insufferable mug has arrived.
We’re so glad she unburdened herself and we’re sure you are too.
— Sarah Weinstein (@slwein) December 7, 2018
Can we keep Tumblr and close Slate
— jake (@jacobisok) December 7, 2018
— Jaimee Stoner (@JaimeeStoner) December 7, 2018
This is fake news. Gross.
— Alanna (@AlannaMarieS) December 7, 2018
It’s strange seeing anyone, especially Slate, refer to anything about Ted Cruz as hot (or semi-hot), but read the article & the occasion of senatorial facial hair is just reason to criticize his face.https://t.co/joMOLdYE7J
— Paul Tuns (@ptuns) December 8, 2018
— B. Lynch (@BLynchBooks) December 7, 2018
This is news? Do better.
— Nathan Hoerschelmann (@onkelnathan) December 7, 2018
The ultimate slate pitch got accepted
— Francis Lam (@Francis_Lam) December 8, 2018
— Diana Reisenger (@d_reisenger) December 7, 2018
— Bryan Rolli (@BryanRolli) December 7, 2018
It costs $0 to not be like this
— Mason Herson-Hord (@mason_h2) December 7, 2018
What the hell are you doing?
— Ben Lyon (@byrdturgler) December 7, 2018
A great follow-up to the “six-months is to short a period spent with a service animal to really matter” article about Bush 41.
Doin’ great work guys! pic.twitter.com/bU0uy26tRm
— Not Scott F. (@notscottf) December 7, 2018
‘Such a MISERABLE person’: Slate writer who shamed people for mourning service dog Sully’s loss LASHES OUT when dragged https://t.co/qqF4hNsKEY
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) December 4, 2018
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